lesson 10: breasts have a mind of their own

"What are you talking about?"

"At the age of 10 they are a source of ridicule and scorn. 'Developing' early was not a positive thing in my young life. Stupid little boys used to moo at me."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Yes, a group of girls decided to bully me into a bra, telling me that otherwise I would end up deformed."

"Did you get a bra?"

"No. I specifically didn't because I was pissed off. I didn't (or did) handle bullying very well. And I didn't invite any of them to my birthday party because they were mean. Bitches." (At this point I. fervently hopes that my readers know this is tongue in cheek.)

"Are you deformed?"

"No. In fact my doctor recently told me that I have extraordinarily symmetrical breasts."

"Ah. Thanks for sharing."

"Your welcome. I'm proud of my girls. And now they are medically endorsed."

"Yeah. That's enough."