lesson 35: finding friendship in unexpected places

"You mean in dark alleys? Leather bars? or..."

"Nooo."

"Well you said 'unexpected'."

"I meant with unexpected people."

"You mean like politicians or gangsters?"

"I meant people that you don't necessarily click with right away."

"Ooohhh... well that's much less exciting."

"One of my big fears in changing towns was that I'd be lonely. That I wouldn't meet good friends like I had left."

"Which begs the question..."

"I've already addressed that. So anyway, when I first arrived, I decided, quite consciously, that I'd be open. Open to unexpected friendships."

"And you found them?"

"I did. It was kind of strange having to start over after having been surrounded by really excellent friends to then to know no one. And I found myself going out of my comfort zone to meet new people and spend time with them. To initiate finding friends. It was like... it was like dating. 'So, do you want to meet up this week?' It felt kind of strange."

"So you only met up with men?"

"That's not what I meant. It was like, we'd go out for dinner or to a movie or art gallery and some people were an immediate click and others... not so much... I even started a book club that mostly had to do with exchanging books and drinking beer. And I am so much not a book club kinda girl."

"Ah. Beer bonding. And?"

"I found out that my instincts aren't always right. That people have various levels of reserve. Some people are crazily friendly and others are really reticent. Also, with expat communities, the intimacy can be frightening, since everyone wants to find those friends... People have left home or decided to experience something new for all kinds of reasons. And of course, there are some freaks out there. When I really found a connection, I was always tempted to say, 'Will you be my friend?' But that would be strange."

"It would. You are sometimes."

"Thanks. All of this to say, I've made some fantastic friends who are eclectic, interesting and pretty fabulous. I'm lucky and blessed."

"By the way, you shouldn't eat so much fried food."

"What are you talking about?"

"The picture. Piles of fried food."

"It's stock photography. But you must admit, the calamari looks really good."

"You're just mocking me because I can't eat."